Personal Development is a passion of mine and using hypnotherapy to help others overcome limiting beliefs, trauma, PTSD, low confidence, and the list goes on. To take the next stages in life you have to learn to let go of the past and what's been holding you back from reaching your true potential. Self-awareness is one of the most crucial steps in the development process and one that I had skipped initially or I started working on it with out realizing what it was. As I dug deeper into and started reading research articles and going down the rabbit hole on YouTube I came across an interesting study that showed only 10-15% of people they talked to actually had or showed self-awareness. On my mission to understanding who I am, let's me dig deep in where I want to go in life and allows me to have a better understanding of my emotions and what's triggering them in different situations.
One of the most interesting ones that I recently did a post about was understanding my Anger wheel when I'm at work. Now when I talk about being at work its not as a hypnotherapist as I'm still building my practice but in my management experience. When I moved into management I made a promise to take care of the people that work under me. Not realizing the pain that would come with it and how much it would truly effect my mental health. I essentially put myself in a situation that I feel stuck in and can't get out of. Knowing that managers either work for their staff and clients or they work for the corporation I quickly learned I was being put in a difficult situation where I have no say and anything I do say quickly turns into a fight. Working with people that manipulate and lie to make them self look better I found myself fighting an uphill battle.
Over the years ANGER has got the better of me and it quickly led to me resenting the job and everything about it. As that anger festered inside of me it slowly turned into other negative emotions and putting me on edge not only with my employees who I'm supposed to be there to support and help achieve their goals but also clients that rely on me to help them. To add to this working with other departments in corporations only adds to the frustration as no one seems to want to work together. This is where my agitated, annoyed, and irritable all kick in at once. It can be very difficult to control my emotions at this point but for someone that is calm in nature I used to suppress the emotions until I hit a boiling point.
In understanding what was happening in different situations that sparked a chain of emotions I was able to start regulating them. I could look at the situations I was in and be able to make adjustments and focus on what I can control.
What is SELF-AWARENESS?
Self-Awareness - Is understanding your own character, feelings, motives, and desires. Being able to reflect on your thoughts, emotions, behaviors, and understanding how they align with your values and goals. Self-awareness is vital in your personal growth journey and something that we seem to skip or at least I did. It allows us to understand ourselves on a deeper level, which can lead to positive changes in our lives.
The Importance of Self-Awareness
- Improved Emotional Intelligence
- Emotional intelligence is the ability to recognize, understand, and manage your own emotions, as well as to recognize and influence the emotions of others. Self-awareness is the foundation of emotional intelligence because it allows you to identify your emotions and understand how they influence your thoughts and actions. Higher self-awareness leads to better emotional regulation, which can improve relationships, communication, and decision-making.
- Better Decision-Making
- When you are aware of your biases, values, and emotions, you can make more informed decisions. Self-aware individuals can distinguish between their emotional responses and logical reasoning, which helps in making decisions that are aligned with their true goals and values rather than being driven by impulsive reactions.
- Enhanced Relationships
- Self-awareness helps you understand your own needs and desires in relationships, as well as recognize the needs of others. This understanding leads to better communication, more empathy, and healthier boundaries. Being aware of how your behavior affects others can also improve conflict resolution and deepen connections.
- Personal Growth and Development
- Self-awareness is the starting point for personal growth. By recognizing your strengths and areas for improvement, you can set realistic goals and take action to develop yourself. It also helps you stay motivated by keeping you aligned with your core values and passions.
- Increased Resilience and Stress Management
- Self-awareness helps you recognize when you are under stress and understand what triggers it. This awareness allows you to develop coping strategies that work best for you. By managing stress effectively, you become more resilient and better equipped to handle life’s challenges.
- Alignment with Values and Purpose
- Self-awareness ensures that your actions and decisions align with your core values and life purpose. When you are clear about what matters most to you, you can live a life that is true to yourself, leading to greater fulfillment and satisfaction.
- Professional Success
- In a professional context, self-awareness can lead to better leadership, teamwork, and career advancement. Leaders who are self-aware tend to be more authentic and effective, as they are able to understand their impact on others and adapt their behavior accordingly. For team members, self-awareness promotes collaboration and constructive feedback.
- Improved Mental Health
- Self-awareness is crucial for mental health. It helps in identifying negative thought patterns, recognizing triggers for anxiety or depression, and understanding the root causes of emotional distress. This awareness is the first step toward seeking help or implementing strategies to improve mental well-being.
There are two key factors when looking at self-awareness
Internal Self-Awareness: Understanding your inner thoughts, emotions, and values. This is like looking in a mirror and looking inward at what truly matters to you and how you think of yourself. This is where a lot of people talk about affirmations and understanding your true potential. When you have a good idea of who you are and what you want in life based off values and beliefs then you will make decisions based off that. Looking at your emotions both positive and negative to break down the chain events to cause them and focus on what you can control.
External Self-Awareness: This is an emphasis on how others perceive you. Don't get caught up with how others think of you unless you have respect for them and they have your best interest. The reason I say this is because people also don't want to see you grow and become better as they think its a competition in life. With that though being able to take constructive criticism is big as it allows you to make positive changes in the perspective of what others see that you might not. An extremely important version in a leadership role not only from management but from the team working under you as well.
Common Obstacles to Self-Awareness
Blind spots: These are areas of your personality and behavior that we are unaware of, but that others see clearly. Often ingrained habits, attitudes, or emotional reactions that we don't recognize in ourselves. These traits are hidden from our conscious awareness, they can lead to misunderstandings in relationships and hinder personal growth. Blind spots are often revealed through feedback from others giving an outside perspective and crucial in developing deeper self-awareness. This leads back to external self-awareness and the importance of being able to take that feed back.
Cognitive Biases: Are mental shortcuts our brains use to simplify decision-making. While they help us process information quickly, they can also distort our perception of reality. One common bias that affect self-awareness is conformation bias, where we tend to see out information that confirms our pre-existing beliefs while ignoring evidence that contradicts them. This prevents us from seeing ourselves accurately leading to a distorted or incomplete vision of ourselves.
Fear of Self-Reflection: Engaging in self-reflection can be uncomfortable or scary. This fear often stems from the possibility of uncovering unpleasant truths about ourselves, such as past mistakes, unresolved emotions, or aspects of our character we'd rather not acknowledge. How ever facing this discomfort is essential for true self-awareness. By confronting and accepting these parts of ourselves, we can begin to grow and make meaningful changes in our lives. Embracing self-reflection, despite its challenges, allows us to move beyond superficial self-knowledge and towards a more authentic understanding of who we are.
Strategies to Cultivate Self-Awareness
Mindfulness and Meditation: This allows you to be able to practice living in the moment. Something I have talked about in detail before but is extremely important in being able to process how you're feeling right now. It's also a great time for understanding your emotions and thoughts. Meditation isn't about clearing the mind it's about understanding the thoughts that come to mind and what they mean. What actions can you take to understand the person you are moving forward. Giving you a clear view and understanding of how your feeling.
Journaling and Reflection: Buy a nice hardcover journal that you love looking at something that stands out to you. Journaling shouldn't be about what you did today or what you had for dinner. This is a time to write out what's going on in your mind, how your feeling, what accomplishments you made, what's holding you back and why. Explore your thoughts and feelings to gain a better insight as you explore what made you feel that way or why you have those thoughts. Reflecting on these past experiences helps you gain a greater insight and understanding of yourself.
Seek Feedback: This can be a tough one as you navigate both positive and constructive criticism. This gives you the outside perspective that you might hold blind spots to but will help with your external self-awareness.
Self-awareness is not a one time milestone that you feel you reached and revert back to your old ways. This is an ongoing journey of self-discovery and growth. As you continuously work on it you will become more aware of your surroundings and what has you reacting to certain situations. This allows you to have better control in how you react, plan, and build your future. It's an ongoing transformation that for me so far has been one of the most rewarding as I have been going through the process and learning more about myself than I ever have.
This journey is a powerful tool that will lead you to live a more meaningful and impactful life not only for yourself but being present for those around you.
As a leader you will be more authentic and create a bigger impact to those around you.
To each one of you I put forward a challenge for one month to journal and put in place a mindfulness practice. Takes notes and pay close attention to area's of your life that you notice change as you take this transformative journey.
Here is a another great article from a study done.
Harvard Study click here.
Ted Talk click here.
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